Charlie Coyle Takes #3 Much To The Disgust of Marek Zidlicky Fans

Charlie Coyle will be wearing a new number with the Minnesota Wild this season, the team announced Wednesday.

The 21 year-old winger previously wore #63 during his rookie season, but will instead be taking #3 much to the disgust of Marek Zidlicky fans everywhere.

"Number 3? Three?," said a fan who looked mysteriously like Zidlicky wearing a fake mustache. "That number is special. Like 'Marek Zidlicky signed a one year, $3 million contract' yesterday special. Where's the question about me...him? Him. I said him."

Coyle is one of 4 Wild players along with Keith Ballard (#2), Nino Niederreiter (#22) and Matt Cooke (#24) to have a new number for the 2013-2014 season. He is the only one, however, who spent time with the team last year. Coyle scored 14 points in 37 games for Minnesota while spending time on the top line. The East Weymouth, MA native has worn the magic number 3 throughout his career. This includes stops with Boston University and Saint John (QMJHL).

Zidlicky, meanwhile, led the New Jersey Devils blue line with 19 points (4 G- 15 A) in 48 games. He previously played 3.5 seasons with Minnesota after being acquired from Nashville for Ryan Jones and second round pick in 2008. That work, which includes two 40 point seasons with some defensive struggles, nevertheless endeared him to a certain segment of the State of Hockey.

And they are not above shouting.

"Where is the history? No one wore that number longer or stood up to management like Zids. It should be up in the rafters," Wild fan Tom Falso said. " He almost won a Stanley Cup thing last year."

Although some have called for his head for letting Coyle have permission to wear the new number, Wild GM Chuck Fletcher takes a different stance. "No, I don't think Charlie wearing #3 is disrespectful to Marek," he said when asked about the controversy. "I understand people's attachment. Having said that, we weren't going to take it out of circulation. Many players have come and gone with Trader Chuck at the helm. Not all of them are jersey retirement worthy. There is a chance to see a forward like Charlie wear a defenseman number and make history like that one time in Pittsburgh.

"So yes, I will turn this franchise around if you whiners don't shut up."

For his part, Coyle has been appeasing to his critics although that hasn't helped quiet them down. He made sure he was ready. Rather than just jumping into wearing Zidlicky's number right away, Coyle waited until he knew he would stick in St. Paul. He also had the support of his teammates - many of whom remember the so-called Zidlicky Era - and especially Matt Cooke.

"I'm ready for the responsibility that comes from wearing this number," Coyle said.

Reports of a Keith Carney fan taking the news hard are unconfirmed at this time.
Photo Credit: @JessieCO

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If the absurdity of the article isn't so apparent, yes this is satire. None of the quotes are real. Learn to laugh.

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